It's Not You...It's Me

I was somewhat publicly "dissed" on Facebook recently.

It felt like Junior High all over again...

you know, that instant reaction where you feel it right between your gut and your heart.

The one that makes you want to shrink into a little hole of darkness and not 

come out for, say, a year.

I hate that feeling...

Thank goodness we didn't have Facebook and Twitter and text messaging when I was going through school.

It's hard enough to help a 13 year old navigate it.

And the thing is...the person who did it is not entirely wrong.

I kinda get where they were coming from.

Doesn't make it hurt any less...

So the question for me was...how to react?

I was hurt...that kind of hurt that feels like embarrassment and  shame.

And shame is the worst of all of the feelings, in my opinion.

I was pissed...that kind of mad when you want to say

"You got a problem with me, talk to me about it 

(or at least private message me on Facebook, don't do the transparent passive-aggressive public post)"

Say something or let it go...that is the question.

Obviously, I am not letting it go because I am writing about it...

however, my caveat is that I am writing about letting go, 

so maybe you can give me  half-credit.

In all of my meditation  and spiritual work over the past  few years

I have studied, read, prayed and meditated on letting go...

letting go of fears, letting go of resentments, letting go of all the rocks I have been carrying 

around in my backpack that have weighed me down for a long, long time,

and that weren't really mine to carry in the first place...

(special thanks to my sister for giving me that gem of a mental picture...I use it all the time)

I'm doing pretty well, thank you very much!

But as life goes...just when you think you have it figured out,

the universe likes to give you a little "test"

You think you've let go...okay let's just see...

Zing! Ouch!!!!

Can I control what someone else says? Nope.

Can I control what they do? Nope.

(which really bites when you are a parent!).

Are they wrong? Not necessarily and it's a matter of opinion...

Can I control how I react? BINGO!

Crap, this is hard!

So, my reaction is this...

It's really none of my business.

Even though there is a part of me that would love to send back a snarky remark,

or get all jacked up and speak my peace (which wouldn't really be very peaceful)

...what would that really accomplish?

Would I feel better? Maybe for a minute or two, I'm not gonna lie...but it wouldn't last.

And I have learned that getting defensive doesn't suit me very well.

Plus it causes frown lines and wrinkles and even though I have stuff for that,

no need to encourage them. :)

It's none of my business how someone else feels,

unless I have purposely done something to make them feel bad.

It's none of my business what someone else does, 

or who agrees with them, 

What is my business is how I choose to respond,

and how I choose to treat my fellow man.

In this case, it IS all about me.

I have decided to adopt a little something that my daughter wrote

yesterday as she was making anti-bullying posters for her homeroom project.

She's been dealing with some of her own drama 

typical middle school girls stuff, made worse by the invention of 

text messaging, and still she gets it better than I do!

"Words can hurt or words can heal. What did your words do today?"

Kids are smarter than we are sometimes, aren't they...

My healing words today?

Heal some people with your words today, friends...

it's the only way to live.