The Education of a Lifetime

Willing to experience aloneness,

I discover connection everywhere;

Turning my face to fear,

I meet the warrior who lives within me;

Opening to my loss and pain and ignorance,

I remember who I am and what I am here for;

Surrendering into emptiness,

I find fullness without end.

Each condition I flee pursues me,

Each condition I welcome transforms me

and becomes itself transformed

into the blessing it always was.

-Jennifer Welwood

Read it again. Let it sink in...

I know, right.

If I could have written anything that describes the massive shift in thinking and the 

learning I have had over the past few years, 

this is it.

This is everything.

I wish I had written those words, but I know I never would have gotten them quite as right as

Jennifer Welwood did.

I wish I could thank her

because I intend to read this poem every day and make it

my mantra.


What have I learned?
I have learned to meditate 
(my husband is so rolling his eyes right now, but it is both one of the most difficult and the most natural things I have ever done)
I have learned to listen to myself and trust my gut
because the gut never lies.
I have learned that it is okay not to please everyone
and its even okay to not please anyone
if you are being true to yourself
I have learned that everything really does happen for a reason
and hard times make you better
if you let them.
I have learned to take every experience in my life as an 
education.
I have learned that even though it is harder than anything I have ever done,
letting my children experience losing, hate, disappointment, grief, hurt
and consequences
will help them grow and become empathetic and mature adults
(I hope)


I have learned that I believe in karma
and that belief is what gives me integrity.
I have learned that resentments and anger
are carnivores who eat you alive
and forgiveness is your only saviour.
I have learned that we are not alone,
that we are loved more than we could ever imagine
by a God who wants us to find
our true selves by walking our own path
even if that path is long and twisty and full of roadblocks.
I have learned to believe in signs, that there are no coincidences,
and that the greatest love you can have
is the love you have for yourself.


But most of all,
I have learned
that although there are no guarantees and that we will all hurt, struggle,
fall and bleed...
it is our choice whether we
suffer.