No Man's Land

I am blessed with incredible relationships with many different types of women.

I learn something from each of them and they make me a better person.

I like my fellow females.
I think we are a pretty awesome species, 

so it is with great curiosity and bewilderment that I look at how some women treat each other.

We are far from the days of the "I am woman hear me roar"

(thank God!)

We don't have to prove to men anymore that we are equal or worthy.

The fight is essentially over with them.
I know, I know...some don't think it is.
Some think we will never have "equality"

I think were never meant to have to fight to be equal or worthy in the first place.

We don't need to...we are different.
Why would we want to be like men when we can be awesome at being
women?

What I can't figure out, though,  is why so many women have turned the fight onto ourselves.

I have absolutely no time for bitchy Housewives of Orange County

(let alone of Story County)

who backstab and catfight their way to notoriety.
Who dislike each other, and play games and create drama
just to get attention.
I don't even have time for petty jealousies and back-handed compliments.

WHY do we do this?

Why be snarky and witchy and rude?

Why assume other women are trying to out do us

Why try to outdo them?

It is not a contest.

We don't get an award for the

Best Performance in a Real Life Drama

(although, there are some who could be good contenders!)

You know what we get for trying to live this facade?

We eventually get actual real life.
In-our-face real life that is not so pretty to look at.

One day the mask will come off and there will be no facade left.

There won't be any more scripts to read.

It will just be...
you.

I am lucky. Really lucky.

I have surrounded myself with supportive, honest, good women.

Women who don't care if they walk into my house and see a dust bunny the size of a baby bunny in the corner.

The kind who don't judge me for being human,

sad, cranky or forgetful.
Who lift me up when I am at my lowest, and who are honest with me when I need to hear the truth.
Real sisters in arms.

We are a sorority whether we like the term or not.

Our sisterhood bond is our double X chromosome.

Why not make a pact.

A pact that we lift each other up whenever we have the chance.

A pact where we don't assume motives, or masquerades.

A pact where perfection is the enemy,

and realness is the initiation.

Where authenticity equals beauty and compassion is the rule.

I really and truly believe we as women will find more power in compassion and love,
in grace and gratitude,
than we would ever find in clawing and fighting our way up, and trying to prove that we are better.
Our softness is our strength.

Yes, we know there will always be the ones who don't want to play by the rules.
The ones who feign all sweetness and light, but who are just looking for the in to stir up a little dirt.

We don't have to invite them  into the sandbox because we know they will make fun of our toys 

and stomp all over our sandcastles,

 but we can wave and say hello as they pass

and go back to playing our game when they leave.

We don't even have to talk about them after they walk away. 

No really, we don't!

Now wouldn't that be refreshing?

It IS a new world.
What we see on every reality show is not how it has to be.
We don't have to talk about other mothers in the after-school car line,
"unfriend" someone who is on the other side of the political fence than us
(I mean really!)
We don't even have to pity the neighbor who is getting the nasty divorce.

What we should be doing is reaching out and inviting them into the fold.
Letting them know that as fellow women,
we have their back.

It is with sincere gratitude that I can say I have friends like this.
I hope you do too.
I hope one day we are the norm.
I know it would absolutely demolish the reality TV industry,
but I am willing to sacrifice my Kardashian addiction
for something a lot more real...

Women who rejoice when other women let their lights shine.
Women who celebrate each other's strengths, laugh and cry with each other,
and who lock arms
and help each other usher in this brave new world.

Rock on sister!